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* LAMBDA LITERARY AWARD WINNER *
* PUBLISHING TRIANGLE FINALIST *
The first openly trans author on a Classics list, this is a unique first-hand account of a historical trans man's life, which read like a euphoric coming-of-age novel.
A unique first-hand account of a historical gay trans man's whole life, which reads like a celebratory coming-of-age novel.
Lou kept candid diaries from the age of 10. Through these extracts, we hear Lou's life in his own words: from 'playing boys' in his childhood in Wisconsin, to cruising San Francisco's gay bars for handsome 'youngmen'; from first hearing about gender non-conforming communities, to becoming a vital part of them as an activist, author, and archivist.
Lou navigated his identity with few role models and was perhaps the first publicly gay transgender man. Successfully campaigning to remove heterosexuality from the medical requirements for gender affirming surgery, Lou was pivotal in our modern understanding of gender and sexuality as distinct identities. After he was diagnosed with HIV in 1986, he remarked that he had been told by clinics that 'it was impossible for me to live as a gay man, but it looks like I'm gonna die like one.'
This selection shows Lou's joyous love of life, men, and sex.
WITH AN INTRODUCTION BY SUSAN STRYKER
Author: Louis Sullivan
Paperback
Published 15 February 2022
448 pages
'Chatty and tender, casually poetic and voraciously sexual-Sullivan workshopped his identity and his relationships, committing to the page an interior monologue of self-discovery that paralleled the gay-liberation movement, the burgeoning transgender-rights movement, and the aids crisis... Given how many contemporary trans narratives are rooted in trauma, their choice to foreground trans pleasure and sensuality is celebratory, even radical' -The New Yorker
Read and recommended by Remi:
Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan is a treasure; a bible for trans mascs seeking a deeper understanding of our history. Sullivan’s intimate voice offers a powerful glimpse into his life—full of struggle, self-discovery and activism. His diaries emphasise the importance of looking to our past to shape our future, quietly revolutionising the understanding that trans men and trans mascs have always existed.
“My Hands, my wrists, my arms.
My body unveils itself
And is simply, quietly beautiful.
Suddenly, magically we found each other
There we were… here we are
I plan to let you happy me
Summer me
Winter me”.
Sullivan’s raw, tender reflections capture the magic of self-recognition and the transformative power of gender affirming care. His writing, while documenting his fight for self-affirmation, is also a poignant meditation on death, missed opportunities, and sociocultural progress. Near the end of his life, Sullivan writes, “They told me at the gender clinic that I could not live as a gay man, but it looks like I will die as one.”
Sullivan’s legacy as a trailblazer is undeniable. As a queer trans person, Sullivan made my existence possible. His work is a deeply cherished companion, leaving me with an abiding sense of gratitude and connection. This book is a powerful and tender chronicle of a life that continues to shape and inspire.